Showing posts with label Piper. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Piper. Show all posts

Monday, July 19, 2010

Unicorns, Leprechauns, Adults with CF, and other mythical creatures

My pal-from-the-interwebs, Cystic Gal, has recently been involved in a bit of e-correspondence with the CFF regarding their, uh, PR relating to adult CF issues. Or more specifically, the lack thereof. 

Here, she's posted an excerpt of one such exchange, this time about an upcoming webcast presented by the CFF. While I probably would have responded a little bit differently, the basic sentiment - feeling a little ignored and a lot condescended to - I agree with wholeheartedly. I started to leave her a comment, but shockingly enough, it was kind of crazy-long for a comment, so I decided to just blog about it here...

If I wanted to be really snarky, I would point out that while his/her Copy/Paste skills may be remarkable, his/her mastery of the proper use of the apostrophe could use some work (see: "among other doctor's working..." But I'm not a snarky person, so I won't point this out (see? "won't!" that wasn't so hard - WAIT! I did it again!)

In all seriousness, the issue with these sorts of webcasts (in my opinion) is that (at least every one I've watched, I can't speak for them ALL) any time it's an adult/kid care hybrid presentation, it's kidkidkidkid oh,andbytheway, adultdoctorsayingthesamething. 

More to the point, while there are plenty of brochures/webcasts/other info expressly for parents and/or children to the exclusion of adults, there are few-to-no materials focused on adult-specific issues *to the exclusion of pedatric patient issues*. There are a handful that apply to, and are likely geared towards, adults (re: insurance coverage, pamphlet about working as a CF adult written forever ago, etc) but most of the issues covered also apply to parents of CF kids (re: insurance coverage, keeping your job when your child is the insurance black-hole, etc). There are NONE about adult-specific, adult-only issues, of which there are plenty they could choose from (perhaps they could have an intern crawl the internets and message boards for inspiration?).

By extension, the layperson (or even teen/YA patient) going primarily on the info available from the CFF, is led to believe that either:

a)there aren't enough people actually, literally living to adulthood to justify the resources, 

b)there are people who are living into adulthood, but for whatever myriad reasons are socially/physically handicapped to the point that "normal adult rules" don't apply; they're too sick, arrested development cases, or both, and therefore the resources are somewhat unjustifiable, or 

c) life as an adult with CF is somehow magically much easier and more mainstreamed than childhood with the disease (sidebar: I would argue the opposite), and EVERY adult with CF should be a marathon-running brain surgeon with 2.8 kids. Until they get a transplant. And then they should take a few weeks off, get fixed, and go back to brain surgery. 

As bad or worse than the flawed image of CF adulthood presented to the laypublic, is the compounded isolation such a dearth of resources can induce in patients themselves.  When I was about 18, I remember looking at the CFF site, all but expecting to just point-click-find info about, say, "Going to College with CF", or "CF and Gynecology", or "CF and Dating/Marriage."  After all, they had always had great resources about going to school with CF, what to tell your school nurse about CF, puberty and CF...so I was surprised, and a little scared, that the great info I had used growing up seemed to simply drop off now that I'm no longer dotting my "i"s with hearts.

 I didn't cohesively recognize it as such at the time, but it was a feeling of utter aloneness. I'm an only child. The closest thing I have to a big sister is my aunt, 17 years my senior. I was the first in my family going to a 4-year school.  So aside from just figuring out all the "normal" stuff as I go (as I was used to doing, since the whole "only child" bit wasn't new), now I'm supposed to just make up the rules to this CF stuff as I go along? 

WHAT DOES SUCCESSFUL ADULTHOOD WITH CF LOOK LIKE? I would then compare myself to the poster-grownups touted by the CFF at the time...married with kids, surgeons, marathon runners...and feel like a total loser. Until I read that they had their first hospitalization at age 18, or 25, or notatallyet. Then I would just get angry - the only, tiny subset I had been given against which I could compare myself wasn't actually a fair comparison. And feel even more alone. Surely, I thought, there must be SOME adults out there who have survived, gone to college, made a life for themselves, and have actually had their lives impacted in a meaningful way by this disease! The only adult I had known with CF succumbed quickly and suddenly to b. cepacia in his late twenties while waiting for a transplant. I felt like, just statistically, emotions-be-damned, that there HAD to be something between "basically normal" and "dead at 30" - struggling, sure, but making it and happy. 

I didn't find that until after I graduated college, and quite honestly, Piper was the first one who made me realize - YES! It IS out there! You CAN have CF, really deal with CF, and go to law school and live in a fabulous apartment with an adorable puppy and do brunch on Sundays and be unmarried and happy - all with this disease alongside every step of the way, not just a footnote. I don't know if I ever told her this, but I found her blog when I cynically googled "lawyer with cystic fibrosis", expecting to find a few links to Beth Suffian and a bunch of irrelevant junk. I all but lit up when I clicked over to hers and read enough to realize it wasn't simply a phrase in a post somewhere, but that the author herself BOTH had CF AND was a lawyer. Through her blog, I "met" several other people, and eventually discovered CF2Chat.com, a wonderful forum filled with adults living, thriving, struggling, and everything in between with CF (and a few awesome CF parents). They were married! They had kids! They had real, grown-up, benefits-and-a-401k jobs! They were hospitalized all the time! They had all sorts of differing views on everything from treatment regimens to politics! THEY WERE NORMAL ADULTS - who also lived daily with the reality of CF. 

To be clear, I don't begrudge the CFF their contributions to the medical research - it is not an exaggeration to say that without them, and drugs/developments they have directly funded *in my lifetime*, I would be six feet under by now. Also, the support of my local chapter, and the fabulous, overworked and underpaid women who work there, is invaluable, and I have nothing but fabulous things to say about them (particularly the newly-appointed director, whom I won't name here only so that this post doesn't come up in a google search of her). I also realize that the learning curve is incredibly steep and scary for a young family saying "cystic fiwhat?" 

But it's also incredibly scary to just be a young adult, period, these days - nothing is certain, everything is unpredictable, and no one can venture a guess as to the future of our economy, our healthcare, our retirement, our country, our world. But when you add an incredibly unpredictable disease, with very new and developing elements (as CF manifestations themselves often change rather dramatically in adulthood), to the already unpredictable mix of trying to navigate a future as a twenty-something in 2010, sometimes simply being acknowledged, having the non-profit authority on your crazy disease validate that it's not just you, X happens to many adults with CF, or publicly display a list of things and resources to consider when going off to college, starting a new job, starting a family - as much as a resource for CF adults as a supportive, public declaration of the challenges we face - would be an incredibly welcome, much-needed gesture. 

Saturday, February 7, 2009

25 Things...

25 Things.
"Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. To do this, write a new Note, and then tag people with the 'In this Note' feature.You have to tag the person who tagged you." This thing has been floating around facebook and I finally filled it out this evening and decided to transfer it over to bloggerland. On to my 25 things...

1.My closet is always perfectly, immaculately clean and organized. The rest of my room and bathroom and general living space may be a complete wreck, but my closet stays organized to a degree that simply must indicate psychological disorder on some level.

2. Ditto for my dresser drawers.

3. I am obsessive about how my clothing is washed, folded and hung; so much so, that when I moved back in with my parents and we got ready to move to our new house, when my mom announced there would be no more of this split laundry nonsense and that it would all be done at once, I volunteered to do everyone's laundry so I could maintain my "system."

4. Despite this, I really am not nearly as fashionable as I used to be, nor do I really care. I go through phases of wanting (and trying) to be a little more funky, but 90% of the time I feel like my generic, solid, preppy garanimal-ish wardrobe works for me. I just get really upset when favorite garanimal items end up faded or shrunken or otherwise damaged, since I justify their purchase in the first place by telling myself they are classic enough I can wear them for years.

5. I hate, hate, hate emptying the dishwasher and it would be one of about 3.4 reasons I would reconsider having children...for a minute. I really hope I end up marrying someone who feels the way most people do about this chore, ie, "what's the big freaking deal?"

6. I cannot STAND yogurt.

7. I LOVE rice - I have been known to make an enormous pot of sushi rice and live off of it (and various condiments and accompaniments) for nearly a week. Happily.

8. When I was younger, I wanted to be a "private prosecutor" so I could catch bad guys but actually make money for it. I now know there are other terms for these people, and I do not want to be counted in their ranks.

9. I will almost always, always, always root for the underdog, even if they are underdogs by their own doing. This does not mean I don't get mad at said underdogs after a while. This has gotten me in a fair bit of trouble I could have otherwise avoided growing up.

10. I want another puppy, but I know I'm not responsible enough for one.

11. I love shrimp and grits in nearly any incarnation possible, and am well aware that it's usually a huge ripoff. I don't care.

12. There is very little seafood I do not love. That said, I am not so much a fan of nearly any battered 'n fried fish, nor flaky white fish prepared most any way (flounder and the like - yelch).

13. I really, truly, not-a-phase, don't want to have kids, and there's a little part of me that still thinks the whole gestation process is a little bit disgusting, although I think preggo women are adorable (I just don't like thinking about the actual biological reasons they look all basketball-y).

14. This does not mean I hate kids. I just can't stand poorly raised ones and I feel no social obligation to pretend that I do. I LOVE kids that know how to interact with other humans in an engaging, age-appropriate, non-violent manner. There just aren't a whole whole lot of them these days.

15. I don't eat breakfast foods for breakfast very often, but when I do, it's definitely the big boy breakfast - a bit of an "all or nothing theme." I rarely eat cereal for breakfast, except when I'm in the hospital, but I snack on it quite a bit.

16. I eat kraft macaroni - only the shapes kind - for breakfast with a fair degree of regularity. It has a similar balance of carbs, protein, and dairy as other breakfast meals, is one-pot cleanup, and I can make it practically in my sleep. Don't judge until you try it.


17. Yes, I eat the whole box. It's only 2 USDA servings, which everybody knows is smaller than real servings. Again, don't judge me until you save 1/2 a box of macaroni for later while you're still hungry.

18. I don't eat American food that much, and I tend to get really testy towards the end of the holidays when I feel like all I've been eating is turkey and sweet potato souffle and green beans. I don't like this about myself because it ends up making me look and feel much brattier than I really am.

19. By the same token, I cherish our family tradition of chinese food on Christmas Eve, I don't know if I could make it through the next few days otherwise.

20. I was either hospitalized or put on a course of home IV antiboitics at least once every semester of college. I tend to have a major, seemingly-catastrophic-at-the-time, health-related crisis about every 2.5 years. I have had at least 15 PICC lines over my lifetime, rendering my upper arms somewhat polka-dotted and impervious to self-tanner.

21. It seems like I am just starting to get back to my "normal" self from these life-altery blows when the next comes along, which makes it hard for me to maintain friendships but causes me to cherish those who have stuck by me even more.

22. I like to write once I start, but am completely overwhelmed by the idea of writing a book. I have no idea what I'd write about that wouldn't seem ridiculous and self-indulgent.

23. I don't feel like I'm old enough to have married and parental friends. I wonder if I'll ever get married sometimes, and I don't much mind either way, I just wish I knew one way or the other, for planning purposes.

24. I don't like American cars. There, I said it. Sorry. Just don't.

25. I'm so glad this thing is over, and a little bothered by how many of my "things" were about food. Must be time to eat. :o)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Photo Tag Game

I'm too sleepy for the next installment of my latest health-related adventure, but not sleepy enough to go to bed yet, so I figured now would be the perfect time to participate in the Photo Tag Game Piper so generously tagged me in. First, the rules:

1.) Go to your 4th folder where you store your photos.
2.) Select your 4th picture (no exceptions)! Seriously.. no exceptions.
3.) Post the picture with an explanation and link it back to your tagger.
4.) Tag 4 people to do the same!!

Next, the picture:


Unfortunately for me and my preferences, this picture has niether a random nor funny story attached. It's just a picture of me with my first christmas tree in my first apartment near campus. My bedroom door is the one behind me with the wreath. I grew up on fake trees (for the most part) but my roomate grew up in the mountains and was horrified by the idea, despite our thrid-floor walk-up living situation. I had always LOVED real trees, but had a feeling they would be actual work beyond the day of assembly and decoration, so I was slick and told her I didn't care if we had a real tree, I just didn't know what to do to get them/maintain them so that would be her deal. I had the scent of fresh pine all season, and loved it, but after watching her, will never have a freaking real tree. I've since moved back home, for non-health-related reasons, and stayed primarily for health-related reasons, but it's nice to have pictures to prove I was once an autonomous and independent human being. I guess I'm not entirely a walking case of arrested development though...I did buy my own (fake! pre-lit! seven-foot!) tree this year. And I still have that reindeer.

But see? no exciting story. Just me and a tree. Fortunately for us both, my pills are kicking in and begging me back to bed, so I'll end this here. Not sure who all hasn't already been tagged that I know and follow, so I'll just leave that part alone. These games are fun though, and I'll be a bit more swift with my responses in the future, when I actually have access to my laptop. Goodnight everyone!